peculiar place part 2

ok so i'm back from devo.

actually, i packed up most of my stuff as we're leaving no later than 7:15 am. hard to believe that the week has come and gone but a successful one it was. i'm glad my dad invited me. i've been blessed beyond measure by fellowship and learned more than i could imagine possible from these folks.

the group is a mix of 40 older, mid, and young adults along with a small child. so i got to interact with folks in a wide range of age. i can say that i have met some really amazing people who just blessed me in different ways each.

i'm also glad for the time i've gotten to spend with my dad. i love that man dearly...

we drive home tomorrow which is about a 7-8 hr drive for us. didnt realize that we were that far away from home!

i'm glad for our devotional times. i've heard God speak loudly and clearly as moments and conversations i've had in my life over the last few months are being tied to a purpose. utterly profound is all i can say about the whole thing because it really is indescribable.

it is a new season. one that i'm both glad and terrified of. i say terrified in the most positive manner possible! but i know that this is what i've been waiting for. so i embrace it even with trembling arms.

it has been a journey for sure and i'm certain that this mission trip has been a necessary part of that journey.

the next part of this journey includes the big move to LBK!

given the other set of news i received this week which threw me for a loop...i wasnt quite sure what i was going to do. everything has gone according to plan with the exception of law school and a scholarship which i was told i was virtually guaranteed to receive. uhmmmm yeah, didnt happen and that threw my plans into overdrive.

"not your plans, my plans..." - i was reminded. i realized in that moment that i'd surrendered those dreams and plans and that i very well couldnt just take them back. so i responded, "i know you've got only the very best planned for me and that what is meant to be will as it was destined before time began."

i can't say i wasnt disappointed because i was and i fear that some choices i made in the past are creeping back to haunt me (you reap what you sow). i thought to myself, "am i ever going to get over past decisions?" but here's the deal, that's part of adulthood - dealing with the choices we make the consequences that follow. i knew what i was facing, knew the challenges that lay ahead. the difference is that now i'm at that place where rubber meets the road.

i talked with my dad about it while we were driving back to our "lodging" yesterday. he reminded me that nothing is in vain and there were other solutions to the problem and i just had to trust that God would work them out. doesnt mean there isnt work (and alot of hard work at that) to do on my part and so next week will find me Lubbock exploring some possiblities.

since i didnt get the scholarship I was hoping for....i now need to work at least part-time. if i dont work part-time, it makes my budget for the next year really,really tight. i trusted and continue to trust these things would work themselves out.

i've applied for several jobs in LBK but have not had any success and even in that i thought, Jesus has this under His control too. so i told my dad (jokingly) if no other type job opportunities pan out in lubbock at the very least, i could possibly work in sheet rocking! however, that might not be necessary! thank you JESUS! i got a call today to set up a time for an interview. my bro forwarded my resume to one of his contacts and there we are!

I had reasoned if i got the scholarship then i'd have to go to school full-time (its a requirement) and then could only work part-time but now i'm not "required" to go full-time - so i could potential go part-time which would allow me to stay under the max hour limit in order to matriculate into the joint JD/MBA program next fall.

brings me to the next part....i re-take the LSAT in Sept and am applying for early admissions to Tech law in hopes to marticulate into the joint program in the fall of 2010. if i dont get early acceptence, then i'll finish up my MBA at Tech and look at other options for law school.

the whole issue is dealing with finances which is really dumb. because if i believe God to be who i profess Him to be then i should fully trust that He'll provide all the resources i need. but that's been the question for me. is this really what God wants for me or has planned for my life? i was so completely certain months ago and now it seems like maybe not?

i want to be smart about financing my education as there's a long road ahead of me. i've done extensive research regarding the costs of varying law schools and have a list of top schools that are both reputable, have great bar passing rates, and won't be so damaging to my pocket book upon graduation. the main point is the longer i'm in school, the more costly it becomes....so i've been looking at how can i get through this process as quickly as possible?

at this point, i have no clue how long i'll be in lubbock other than at least a year per my apt lease. for the moment, the focus is an MBA for grad school...that's all i know and won't know much more until sometime around Dec (when I receive an acceptance or rejection letter).

i need to visit with a law school admissions counselor to talk in depth about the strength of my application and also visit with an MBA advisor regarding some waivers that i need to register for class...so i'll be spending a few days in lubbock this coming week.

there's also the stuff going on with my sister and her family. her husband is really sick and of course that would affect the family. my mom is with her now in Indiana and we're not sure when she's coming back. there have been a slew of events occur there...so please just pray for them...they're on my heart 24-7. i really miss my nephews and my sister!it would be nice if they lived closer.

i decided to write about our devo's for the last few days in a separate blog. working on them and will post sometime tomorrow evening. will be glad to be home and not living out of a suitcase! however, with the last few trips on the books...i have a bit more suitcase time coming.

my thoughts for the moment..

uncertainty definitely puts your faith to the test. while there is alot of uncertainty, i can say that i'm at peace. sure the wrench thrown into the plans kinda jolt me and sometimes move me into overdrive...but it would not be my life if it happened any other way. trials and problems have a way of testing and refining us as people and as believers.

but more importantly the what, when, where, and how's aren't as important as the FOR WHO